Relationship Advice: Thou Shalt Not Hold Her Purse For Her
Posted: Friday, April 04, 2008
by Scot McKay - Dating Coach
X & Y Communications
Has this ever happened to you?
You, as a man, image of masculinity such that you are, are in the company of a woman (as is often the case, we hope). Maybe you are at the mall (as is not often the case, we hope), or some social event, or God forbid a sporting event.
Out of nowhere, she turns to you and requests, "Here, hold my purse. I'll be right back."
Blindly obliging this request, gentlemen, is The Thing That Must Never Be.
It's a test. It's a test not only of your manhood, but of your ability to be manhandled. It could be an unconscious one on her part, but then again it could be a calculated assessment to how well you'll eventually accept being cuckolded in the not-too-distant future.
Someone said, "Dude, what does 'cuckolded' mean?"
Exactly.
Perhaps to you this may seem like a minor issue...or even a hang-up. But I'm telling you, I've never seen a man who exhibits the "Big Four" holding some chick's purse for her. Especially if she's trying on a few things at The Limited.
I've also never seen a woman gaze lovingly and with glowing admiration upon a man who is clutching her purse patiently pending her return.
So don't feel "obligated" guys. Just say "no".
If she isn't up to schlepping her purse around, she should have left it home. And if she isn't understanding of your point of view and/or uses your "lack of cooperation" as a weapon later then consider that a warning message about what a long-term relationship with her looks like.
Ultimately, this is all rolled into "The Reverse Golden Rule" as we've talked about frequently around here. That is to say, "Would I ever do unto someone else what is being done unto me here?"
Let me spell this out. I'm not going to expect Emily to sit with me on a Sunday afternoon and endure a full four quarters. That said, considering I couldn't even endure a full four quarters of my Ravens last season maybe that's a poor example.
How about instead, "Hey, why don't you and your fresh manicure go out and check the oil in my F-150 real quick?" "What do you mean, 'I don't think so'? You mean you can't figure out something that easy?"
Yeah well, she can figure it out alright. That doesn't change the fact that it's a completely unreasonable request.
Were I her, I'd purrrr some offhand response to the effect of, "Why sure, baby. Here...hold my purse for me while I do that."
Let's all respect each other's masculinity and femininity, ladies and gentlemen. Even when it's at the brief and momentary cost to our own personal convenience.
You, as a man, image of masculinity such that you are, are in the company of a woman (as is often the case, we hope). Maybe you are at the mall (as is not often the case, we hope), or some social event, or God forbid a sporting event.
Out of nowhere, she turns to you and requests, "Here, hold my purse. I'll be right back."
It's a test. It's a test not only of your manhood, but of your ability to be manhandled. It could be an unconscious one on her part, but then again it could be a calculated assessment to how well you'll eventually accept being cuckolded in the not-too-distant future.
Someone said, "Dude, what does 'cuckolded' mean?"
Exactly.
Perhaps to you this may seem like a minor issue...or even a hang-up. But I'm telling you, I've never seen a man who exhibits the "Big Four" holding some chick's purse for her. Especially if she's trying on a few things at The Limited.
I've also never seen a woman gaze lovingly and with glowing admiration upon a man who is clutching her purse patiently pending her return.
So don't feel "obligated" guys. Just say "no".
If she isn't up to schlepping her purse around, she should have left it home. And if she isn't understanding of your point of view and/or uses your "lack of cooperation" as a weapon later then consider that a warning message about what a long-term relationship with her looks like.
Ultimately, this is all rolled into "The Reverse Golden Rule" as we've talked about frequently around here. That is to say, "Would I ever do unto someone else what is being done unto me here?"
Let me spell this out. I'm not going to expect Emily to sit with me on a Sunday afternoon and endure a full four quarters. That said, considering I couldn't even endure a full four quarters of my Ravens last season maybe that's a poor example.
How about instead, "Hey, why don't you and your fresh manicure go out and check the oil in my F-150 real quick?" "What do you mean, 'I don't think so'? You mean you can't figure out something that easy?"
Yeah well, she can figure it out alright. That doesn't change the fact that it's a completely unreasonable request.
Were I her, I'd purrrr some offhand response to the effect of, "Why sure, baby. Here...hold my purse for me while I do that."
Let's all respect each other's masculinity and femininity, ladies and gentlemen. Even when it's at the brief and momentary cost to our own personal convenience.
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Top-level comments on this article: (3 total)If you are a real man holding your ladies handbag would not affend your manlyhood. If you care about your woman doing things with her could be fun. I just lost my wife and I regret not doing a lot of things with her. But what we did together we both enjoyed and if she asked me to hold her bag I did it. If someone looked at me funny it was their problem. Apparently your not married and if you are ask your wife how happy she real is.
Quote: "If you are a real man holding your ladies handbag would not affend your manlyhood."
Quote: "I just lost my wife."
If you re-read my article I believe I make a valid case for those two statements of yours being related.
I'm sorry to disappoint you, Herb. Although you are trying hard to believe that I can't possibly have any shred of evidence for what I'm talking about--and that my life must be full of regret like yours--it just isn't the case.
You can go to our MySpace page at MySpace and clearly see that Emily and I kind of like each other. It would be difficult to share an office as dating coaches were it as you suppose.
But truthfully, I think you're missing my point.
This isn't about whether or not we're enjoying quality time with the women in our lives. It isn't even about whether we and our significant others are doing random acts of kindness for each other or not.
Women are wired differently than we are. And this is about how they test to see if they can get you to capitulate to them in ways that even *embarass* you.
You see, what you've got to ask yourself is if you honestly think your woman should get her a$$ outside and change the oil. After all, following your logic doing so wouldn't "offend her femininity" if she was a "real woman".
Well, see, that's the thing. I respect my wife enough to not manipulate her in such a way. Cajoling her into doing "guy stuff" would offend MY measure of respect for her.
Real men don't compromise womanhood. And real women don't make men hold their purses. It's all symbolic of something much, much deeper.
I was consistently "pwned" by my ex-wife in ways very similar to what I talked about in this article. And we're, um...divorced.
After that divorce I immersed myself for several years in finding out what it is that women really want from a man.
And they don't really want us to stand there holding their purses for them.
Sorry man.
At first read I was thinking like Herb. I am not sure why because I wont hold my girlfriends purse either. I am I like to think a pretty well rounded guy. It is a very informative article and gave me a lot to think about. I checked out your site too very impressive. I look forward to reading more of your articles.
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