How To Handle Difficult Questions From Women

It went on for probably THOUSANDS of years.

A man would meet a woman.  The woman would ask simple questions.  The man would answer.  Then the woman would follow up with the STICKIER questions.  At that point, the man would get the "deer in the headlights look".  Pwned.

Then, along came David DeAngelo. et al who offered a disarmingly elegant solution:  Never give a woman a straight answer.

And as crazy as it sounded, the truth was that such a strategy often worked…AMAZINGLY well.

For starters, it kept first and second dates from degenerating into "job interviews".

And let me tell you, as much as you and I know how much those kind of "dates" S-U-C-K (capital letters intentional), I've met TWO MORE "lady gurus" within the last TWO WEEKS alone who actually go around TEACHING women to ask a bunch of hardball questions on first dates.

As if that's how women endear themselves to us.  Nice advice, huh?

So yes…women will come at you with zingers like, "How many women have you slept with?" WAY, WAY sooner than you might think.

And to give a straight answer in such situations may be DEVASTATING, especially to questions involving sexual experience. 

Heck, there may BE NO "right" answer to some of these.  No matter WHAT you tell her she's not going to want to hear it.

So why does she ask?  Believe me, I'd like to know also. 

But that in and of itself is probably the WRONG direction to go with her too, if you get right down to it.

Neither is, "You first", by the way.  She may just answer.  Then what?

So the proper recommendation remains to inject humor into the scenario and give her a preposterously funny and unreasonable pseudo-answer:

Her:  "How many women have you slept with?"

Him:  "Oh, let me see… Nine thousand, four hundred-no wait, TEN thousand SIX hundred and one.   Make that two."   [followed by three seconds of a straight face, then a wry smile punctuated with laughter and shaking your head]

Or how about this gem?

Her:  "When was the last time you had sex?"

Him:  [looks at watch]  "Two hours and thirty…[pause]…seven minutes ago

Guys, there's no doubt about it.  If you ARE NOT about lying to women, then you've got to BE 100% ABOUT knowing how to change the subject when women ask questions on dates that they DO NOT want to hear the answer to.

You DO NOT owe a stranger your life story up front.  And if she's fishing for all the negatives before giving herself any opportunity to find out the positives, then that may be all you need to know about her.

Here's a secret:  A mature, high quality woman is not going to press you into divulging information she knows she doesn't want to hear.

A man and a woman on a date should first figure out if they even LIKE each other's company before drilling down to the depths of the netherworld of sexual pasts and so forth.

Now if you're hiding the fact that you still live with your parents …or that you've done ten years of hard time …or that you're STILL MARRIED, I can't help you. 

You're on your own there.  She's probably going to need to know those things sometime before things get too serious.   Sorry, man.

But here's the part that I think is particularly crazy.

It has occurred to me that A LOT of guys take this whole bit about "not giving women straight answers" a bit too far.

They apply the strategy to ANY and EVERY question a woman asks, not just the ones for which there is no good answer.

Look, I completely get that if you let her manhandle the conversation with a bunch of Q & A, you're handing over your masculine power and WILL NOT be respected as a man who can lead.

But even so, I'd say you'd better have a bit more depth to your portfolio of situational wisdom than simply "avoiding direct answers".

Here's a pair of examples to illustrate what I mean:

Her:  "So, what do you do for a living?"

Him:  "Oh, I'm a ‘diesel fitter'."

Her:  "Really?  What's that?"

Him:  "I inspect the panty hose at the department store and say, ‘diesel fitter'."

Her:  "Seriously.  What's your real job?"

Him:  "I work at Six Flags directing traffic.  At the bumper cars."

Similarly:

Her:  "So, do you have a girlfriend?"

Him:  "Girlfriend?  I'm way past that.  I'm married."

Her:  "Seriously?"

Him:  "Actually, I've got FIVE WIVES.  I like watching them fight over me.  Fun stuff."

Unfortunately, I've received emails recounting situations VERY SIMILAR to each of the two above within the past week or so.

An in the real world, but guys DID NOT get a second date.  In fact, the women pretty much DISAPPEARED off the face of the Earth after the first date.

FAIL.   And why?

Well, simply put, when you DON'T GIVE A STRAIGHT ANSWER when a straight answer is ABSOLUTELY CALLED FOR, you leave the woman with no choice other than to ASSUME THE WORST.

Now granted, when you change the subject and/or refuse to give an answer to the sexually incriminating questions, she'll probably assume the worst also. 

But at least she may have the presence of mind to realize you were in fact kind enough to spare her the conversation…for now, at least.

When it comes down to appearing JOBLESS or MARRIED though, you'll generally find women are WAY LESS forgiving.

The sad part here?

In the "real world" versions of the examples I just gave, the first guy had a GREAT job, and the second wasn't even SEEING any other women besides the one he was with.

So they retained their "power"…I guess…but they LOST the woman.

And the tragic part is that the REAL POWER was really present in the CORRECT ANSWERS, weren't they?

Being a great guy with a good job is PREFERABLE to being jobless, isn't it?

And being ELIGIBLE is WAY SUPERIOR in the eyes of a quality woman to being a CHEATER…isn't it?

Think about it…why fail to leverage all that POWER in favor of withholding straight answers?

Why think "defense" while your "offense" is riding the bench?

Silly when you think about it, isn't it?

What then is the practical solution, here? 

How do we keep control of the conversation, but make sure the POSITIVE FACTS about ourselves are clearly articulated?

This is where you've simply got to "think out of the box".

That means looking at the "gray area".  It doesn't have to be "black and white".

What you do is give her the FUNNY, ENTERTAINING answer FIRST, let her respond, THEN share the real answer.

Example:

Her:  "What do you do for a living?"

Him: "Well, I used to transport illegal aliens from Guatemala via 18-wheeler, but it stopped being so lucrative after I forgot to leave the air vent open that one time.

Her:   [speechless…slackjawed…finally laughing out loud]  "Yes, well I can imagine you've probably been bogged down in legal stuff since that fateful moment, huh?  [giggles]

Him:  "Yeah, pretty rough going.  So I've had to go back to being a regional marketing manager for XYZ company to pay the bills.

Her:   "Oh, okay…I see." [still laughing]

Him:   "But I sure do miss the open road…"

You can see how in this situation you keep control of the flow of the conversation while being utterly entertaining. 

All the while, you are sending a subtle message that interview questions on first dates are a silly idea.  Do you see how that is sub-communicated?

Meanwhile, and perhaps MORE IMPORTANTLY, you've CLEARLY DEMONSTRATED that you're going to be able to field whatever she hits your way like you're friggin' Brooks Robinson (or at least Cal Ripkin, Jr.). 

And THAT, my good man, leads to FEWER HARD QUESTIONS.

After all, you will have demonstrated an ability to INSPIRE HER CONFIDENCE, all in concert with MASCULINE CONFIDENCE.

But what about actually keeping your "powder dry" enough to have SOLID ANSWERS to women's questions…even the SEXUAL ones?  Well, that's called CHARACTER.

Get all of that down, and you'll have hammered home the kind of "Big Four" guy you are. 

Sound complicated? 

It doesn't have to be.  In fact, you were BORN to be the guy who gets all of this stuff right. 

And that's what The Master Plan is going to be ALL ABOUT helping you RECLAIM your BIRTHRIGHT to.

Welcome to why I'm STILL adding MORE and MORE to it.  When it's ready, you'll be the first to know…and you'll be down with a discount.

So for now, have fun, entertain her and keep her on her toes.

But please don't ever withhold "straight answers" with a death grip just for the sake of doing so.  As we've just seen, that's one of the DEADLIEST tactical errors you can make on a first date.